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Yesterday afternoon I was attending a prayer/intercession worship set in the base's prayer room. The nation we were interceding for was China. The point of interceding is to step in the place of someone who does not know to go to God themselves. Since coming to YWAM Kona, I have been pushed out of comfort zone more times than I can count. God wants to constantly reveal himself to us, but if we put Him in a box of what we allow him to reveal to us, we stop all possible growth that He wants us to have in Him. Change has always been a scary idea to me. Although I know that some change is good, it still can be intimidating to step away from our normal reality. Since being here in Kona, I have experienced so many new types of worship and religious practices. Some of these have immediately made me uncomfortable and not want to participate. I closed myself off to letting God teach me through those moments because I was scared of the unknown. Yesterday during the prayer set, over a hundred of us were cramped into a small corner of the room in order to experience a form of how the Chinese are sometimes forced to worship out of fear or law. As we were standing in the cramped corner, the worship leader told us all to pray out to God with all our might and heart. Then all at once, the hundred people around me started yelling and crying out to God. Instead of joining in, I immediately started praying silently to God, asking Him to make the noise stop because it was making me uncomfortable. I was quick to let the feelings of uncertainty and fear come in the way of me drawing closer to God. As I was complaining to God, I began to have an overwhelming sense of the Holy Spirit. Then I felt God tell me; 'you want a heart that breaks for what breaks mine, but you won't even allow yourself to be open to what I want to show you and let you experience.'. ... Wow. This revelation of radical sorts was the first in which I felt fully convicted and fully blessed by God at the same time. God speaks in crazy ways, and I know for certain that the Holy Spirit spoke that to me in that moment to make me aware of the ridiculous limits I was putting on God. The request to God to 'break my heart for what breaks yours' has been a constant prayer of mine over the past year. It was not until yesterday during a mundane prayer set in which I realized that God will answer that prayer if I simply let him. And the intensity of that prayer is not something to be understated as well. Having a heart that breaks for what breaks God's is an amazing and dangerous thing. It will cause you to be on fire for Him in a way that most people never know. Now in no way am I saying I now have an advantage or closer relationship with God than others. I am simply saying that God answered that prayer I had been constantly praying for over a year for, and he answered it by forcing me to realize that there is no limit to His love. There is no limit to the things he wants to show us or the people that He will call us to minister to. God bless, Mackenzie

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