Walking through Grief; Covered in Grace.

As I sit here, thinking about what is on my heart to write; I find myself with new eyes and a fresh heart to recall and reflect. God is so good in the way that He transforms our minds into a likeness of His as we seek and ask. Talking, processing, even writing about grief can make my heart heavy. It is not always easy to talk about what burdens our hearts the most, but I believe in a God who heals, restores and redeems all things when we allow Him into our hearts. So it is with peace and comfort from my Father in my heart that I write this, to whoever might read it. Maybe it is more for me than it is for you, but I am learning to accept the grace from God to open up deeper parts of my heart and be obedient with what He has entrusted me with.

Walking through Grief; Covered in Grace.

Grief can look like a million different things; our hearts are so unique in every aspect. Even ones grieving the same loss can cope and feel very differently. God has designed us to experience and dwell in the fullness of His love, as He is love. We were not created to experience loss or trauma, yet living in a fallen world almost guarantees it in one way or another. As Christians we can cling to the hope that is in Jesus and in an eternity in Heaven where there is no more death or sickness and where we don't have to grieve anymore. Until then though, in the midst of whatever hardships we face; we feel to the fullest. Since losing my mom a little over six years ago, I often still find myself walking through the same emotions and questions that I had the day of her death. I think it might be true that some things never change, but on the bright side of that fact is that God's love never changes. I can look back over the past six years and remember all of the tears and sleepless nights filled with unending questions; but as Christ has renewed my mind and heart, I can look back at those same memories and see the presence of God in each one. Whether that presence be shown in simple peace and comfort, another person's role in my life, or the promises He has for me in the truth of His word, He has never left me. That being the case though does not mean that we are not allowed to grieve and be sad while asking the hard questions. Jesus was fully human and He felt every emotion that we feel as humans. He laughed and cried; He even grieved. There is a grace from the Lord over the brokenhearted. The book of Matthew tells us that, “blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted”. God is near to the brokenhearted and allows us to feel what is in our hearts all the while never leaving our side. As I reflect and remember my own walk through grief and mourning, the Lord has shown me a few things that flows out of His unending grace for us.

1. It is OK to cry.

There is a common misconception that strength can be measured in our emotions; or, better yet, lack of emotions. The world views crying as a source of weakness and income for pity, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. A large part of grieving is allowing yourself to fully feel all of the emotions in your heart. We oftentimes like to believe that feelings will go away if we avoid them, but as I have found it that is definitely not the case. It is in our brokenness that the Lord truly meets and comforts us. Though it may be easy to deny it yourself, God knows our hearts far better than we ever could. He knows what we are going to say before we say it and He knows all of the emotions of our hearts- He created them! It is amazing to me that we get to serve and be in communion with a God that cares enough about us to know every facet of our being. He invites us into His throne room even when we have nothing to offer Him and certainly when we have everything far from “together”. There is an everlasting invitation for us to be broken in front of the Lord and to let His perfect love comfort us in every circumstance. Letting tears flow isn't a sign of weakness. We are humans and sometimes tears demand to be shed. Some of my most incredible breakthrough from the Lord has come in the midst of my most incredible tears. It is healthy to feel, as long as we allow the Great Comforter to do it with us.

2. Community is crucial.

Doing life in community is one of the most important things for not only believers, but for everyone. We were created for relationship: relationship with God and relationship with one another. One of the best tools for overcoming grief and pushing through hard times is using the people that God puts in front of you. It may seem pointless to try to explain to someone what it feels like or how deeply impacted you are by the loss you've experienced; and they most likely will never be able to fully understand. One of the most precious privileges of following Jesus though is that as we begin to know Him more, He gives us more of His heart. People that have not experienced loss themselves may not know on a personal level how it feels; but once walking with Jesus they are able to understand the heart of God for you that breaks for what you are going through. By knowing the heart of the Father, it is possible to love one another as He calls us to because He gives us grace and an overflow of His love to do so. I know that sharing deep parts of the heart with another human being can sometimes be the hardest thing to do, but God gives us the grace to trust and be vulnerable and never abandons us.

3. It is NOT God's fault.

As difficult as it is to see sometimes, there will not always be someone or something to blame for the pain that we experience. Somethings cannot be predicted or prevented. There unfortunately are very few guarantees in this life here on Earth. One thing that can help us coming out of grief and fighting off bitterness and resentment towards God from your circumstance is coming to the heart knowledge that this was not God's plan for you. He did not design us to experience loss or pain, the Bible tells us that neither exist in the Kingdom of Heaven. When God created the earth and humans, though He is all knowing and knew what we would choose, He gave us free will and watched as a world turned away from Him. Him sending Jesus to die for us as a sacrifice for our sins was His most precious gift to us of inviting us into a hope and freedom that this world cannot offer: a hope in an eternity together with Him in Heaven, unhindered from fully being with Him in all of His fullness. This is the hope that we have, the promises that are a guarantee and cannot be broken or undone by this world. His desire is that we live in complete freedom and communion with Him, and for us to walk with Him through the hardships that our time on Earth is sure to bring. He didn't create us to suffer; but because of His unconditional love, He wants to lead us through it right back to Him.